Memories
Jess, I miss you so much! I miss sitting next to you in Physics, watching you draw comics, wispering to each other then laughing so loud Mr. Fairchild would have to ask if we were all right, and you having to tie my shoes that one day cause i couldn't bend over in those a.e. jeans! hehehe. Gosh, I miss all of it so much. Mr. Fairchild just passed back some old papers the other day and one of the papers that me, Amanda, and Emilia got back all had your signature on it. It made me smile!
I miss you tons and tons!
Love always and forever,
Sarah
hi jezzmo, well spring is here,i cleaned the pond out today,i miss having you help me catch the fish. the other night i was getting out the lawn furniture and lawn ornaments,put a new tire and tube on the tandem bike,and took a lil ride around town on your scooter. i remember when i'd go out to putter on weekends i'd get out all the bikes and your scooter and stuff you might use and have fun if it was out. we would play hoop and i'd kick your butts in horse. playing ladder golf and catch,and frisbee,i'm gonna miss all of it.
i miss finding the empty milk jug when i opened the fridge or the ice tea pitcher with about 1 gulp left in it.i miss picking up q-tips off the bathroom floor that missed the basket. i miss going around and shutting off all the lights. i miss picking up pepsi cans off the lawn. i miss all of it! i miss you!!!!!!!!
p.s. haha caught you with your facs mask on
go l.a. gurls softball
Jessie,
Hola Chica!! We won our first softball game against Beaver River... and we didn't have a single error! What a good way to start out the season! We lay our hearts on the field and we play for you Jess.
Love always and forever,
Sarah
I have to send the picture seperate from the letter because it wouldn't send the picture with the letter. To much stuff I guess. This is one of the pictures out of 9 that she sent. One of the pictures has the pussy willow and the balloons in the background but it didn't show up very well so I put this one in instead. Things do happen for a reason, and I pray every day that we some day will know the reason for Jessie being with us for such a short and wonderful time. All my love to everyone.
Well I did promise I would put the letter in that I received from Vermont. I can probably type it by heart because I read it everyday, it gives me some comfort. It was typed on the 30th of March, only 3 days after Jessie's birthday. Dear Tim, Lisa and Mandy, I am typing this letter because I can say more and go more quickly than hand writing it. By now, you have figured out that I found your balloon "tribute" to Jessie. I live about 185 miles east as the crow flies from Alexandria Bay, according to Mapquest-just across Lake Champlain
Today it was such a beautiful, sunny day that I decided to take my dogs for a walk on the family homestead (80 acres of hayfield, woods and riverfront). I grabbed some clippers just in case I came across some pussy willows. In the 40 years since my parents took the homestead over, I have never known there to be pussy willows here. But, just incase I got down to the creek and happened across some, I wanted the right tool for cutting.
I will be selling the homestead soon and have saved 10 acres for my house, My great-grandparents established this as a sheep farm in 1894. It has always been in the family and has many memories associated with it. But it is time for me to move on in my life. However, I am always on the look out for "mementoes" to take with me.
Pussy willows are one of those things from my childhood. They hold an intangible, comforting meaning for me-perhaps that spring and renewal are coming. I intend to have some pussy willows at my new home and it would be nice to have some to "transplant" from the original farm.
This "farmstead" always has some new experience for me and often it is in the form of something photographic. Glistening snow on birch branches, mountain views or sometimes my dogs become photogenic on such walks and so I also grabbed my camera, too
When I got to the northern-most field, I saw something bobbing on top of a fence post-I imagined a seagull pecking at something held in its feet. I recently read that seagulls are also a harbinger of spring so it would not have surprised me to see one. We see seagulls in the summer when they follow the farmers as the fields are plowed.
The bobbing motion struck my curiosity and off I headed. As I got closer, I recognized the bobbing as coming not from a seagull, but from some white balloons. The ribbons had become tangled in some vines on the old fence and the balloons were completely or partially deflated. (see the photos). The mountain in the background is Mt. Philo. During World War II, Mt. Philo was a landmark for airplanes and it had a beacon that rotated at night.
I noticed the name on the card, "Jessie" and believed it was an escaped birthday balloon bouquet for my neighbor's daughter, Jessie. It made me a bit uncomfortable to open the notes because I thought they were personal and perhaps never seen. I opened Mandy's note first, Tim's second. However, as I read, I realized that the notes and balloons were not from my neighbor's.
I realized that I had found something very special. I thought that you might like to see where your tribute arrived so I snapped a couple of shots and moved to get a different view.
From that new view, I DISCOVERED ONE PUSSY WILLOW BUSH!! It is within 20 feet of where the balloons landed and I had not seen it as I approached the balloons.
I was so taken aback. ( those words don't even describe the feeling I had ). I truly believe Jessie led me to the pussy willows. I never walk as far as that fence line when I am out walking around the homestead. Though the bush was sparse, I cut a branch for each-you, Tim, Mandy and me. The pussy willow bush " assured me that it could thrive if I cut the 4 branches. The cutting would allow it to expand and branch out.
I don't know what your experience has been with pussy willow, but if you keep the branch in water, it may root. You can plant it in soil after the roots grow some.
Is I re-read this letter, it seems that Jessie had a hand in all of this and has left many blessings. I could have gone on my walk today without clippers and a camera, I could have ignored the balloons. Because of Jessie, I have seen new things in my life that had gone unseen. Because of Jessie, I have connected with you. Because of Jessie, you know the fate of the balloon tribute.
I am very sorry for your loss. Though I didn't know Jessie, her smile and photo tell me a lot about her. I can even hear her laugh.
May you be blessed with your wonderful memories of Jessie and feel her touch every day.
Haven't written in a little while, so i thought that i should. I went over and picked up Jessie's softball glove the other night. I know jessie will be out there with us but i needed more, I needed a piece of her on the field with me. I also have her lucky number so everyone better watch out for #7. Jessie and I are gonna kick some butt. Im also stepping up to bat with the "Jessie Ripper" Jessie's hot pink bat both sarah and I, in our first softball game tomorrow. I know Jessie will be watching. So were gonna play with all our hearts out on that field for her. I went to the cemetary again to talk with her, its always a comforting feeling there and at her house. I talk to her 24/7, and always will. I keep asking for Jessie to let me know what im suppose to do for college. I just need her to guide me down the path, she wants me to take. I keep asking over and over again. I was at the point where i simply wasnt going. I recieved a random phone call from a gurl that really wants to room with me at Plattsburgh. Her mom is an aid at our school and that is how she found out my interest in going to plattsburgh with jessie. Somehow she got my number and called me and told me how she wanted to be my roommate. Also Jessie knew there was one boy holding me back, One i didnt ever want to leave. I think he'll be ok without me. I'll just come back and marry him. I suddenly knew it was Jessie's way of getting me to go. It was her calling. When I told Tim and Lisa my plans I saw it in there eyes; but i felt it in my heart again. Just by telling them. Thank you Jessie because I think Im ready to go. Im scared but you'll help me, you always promised me you would. You always promised you wouldnt leave me, so i have to believe ur here right now. I miss you more and more everyday. I love you soo much gurl. We always said LA Gurls forever and always. xoxo
i remember the day Jessie had her photo shoot at Heath photography. I came walking in from the barn and she was walking to her jeep with her arms loaded with stuff. She had the whole jeep loaded with her stuff. I actually thought she was moving out for a few seconds,til she told me her shoot was that day. Man what a great job Heath Photography did with her photos,she even took Emilia as a prop lol.
One day i got home from landscaping and Jessie and her friend were out by my big red jeep in the barn and i could just tell by the look on Jessies face they had broken something. It was my fault i never secured the battery and they hit a bump down the back road and it fell out onto the header and melted. She thought i would be disapointed in her but i could never-ever be disapointed in Jessie. One day her and all her friends took off in it and i got her gas powered scooter out and was riding it when they got back so they all took turns on it. Her and Emilia rode double on it and almost took a digger lol.
I remember when Jessie first started pitching she was out in the driveway with her pitchback practicing her pitching skills. She was getting soo frustrated she actually sat down in the grass and started crying. She came storming through the house to her room,i felt so bad for her. A few minutes later she came flying down the stairs right back out there and started right in pitching again. She really wanted to be a good pitcher bad and she was,she worked her butt off for it. I am really proud of the person she was. She was an inspiration to me. love you angel
Jessie,
Last night was the Seniors vs. Faculty/Alumni basketball game. You'll be happy to know that I made a fool out of myself. Let's just say, it was obvious that I am a cheerleader-haha!! Everytime someone went to the fould line I wanted to jump for them soo bad, and in between quarters I felt like I had to do a floor cheer, lol!... but don't worry I contained myself. I'm so glad that your mom came to play- she wore your old Little Red Knight basketball t-shirt and your cheerleading ribbon. We had a lot of fun!!
Love always and forever,
ur friend, Sarah
Last night before I went to bed I asked you Jess to please send me another sign, I needed one so bad, just to know you are still there. Today when Tim and I got home from work there was a box waiting for us. I didn't know who it was from, the return address was from Vermont. When we opened it it contained our tribute to you on your birthday on the 27th of March. It had the balloons the letters and the pictures we sent your way on that evening. It also contained a letter, some pictures and three branches from a pussy willow. The letter was by the lady who found the balloons on a fence way in the back of her property. She took pictures of the balloons and of the pussy willow bush right next to them. In the next couple of days I will put the letter on this website for everyone else to see, it is a beautiful letter and I know you had a hand in helping the lady find the balloons, because they were in a place no one would have found them for a long time. So thanks Jess you came thru for me again when I asked you for a sign. I know you are here with me always. I love and miss you so. P.S. We are going to try to grow the pussy willow this year that came from Vermont via you.
Hi Jess, It will be one week tomorrow since your 18th birthday.Time goes so slow for me It only seems like yesterday that I kissed your goodnight. I miss you so much, I miss your voice, your movements throughout the house, the sound of your jeep pulling into the driveway, and you coming in the door and asking what's for dinner mom. I miss everything. I went and got a tattoo of the hearts you wanted us both to get. I wish we could have done it together. It looks so nice and i will always have you close to my heart. Also I believe you had a hand in helping Tim and I save the dog from Omar creek, if we weren't at the cemetary when we were I believe the dog would have drowned. I love you my Jessie, help me get thru my days. P.S. I love the Spaghettio's cans
i remember we went to colwells pond a few summers back and canoed across to the lake shore. It was a place i used to go and hang out on the beach that knowone knew about. we pitched a tent for the girls to change in and take a nap if they wanted. Had a cooler of food and drink and just hung out and had lots of fun exploring the dunes and swimming. Me and Jessie made a huge man laying in the sand with logs we found for arms and legs. we used the canoe paddles for shovels to form the sand. the girls read their books and relaxed it was sooooo awesome for me to have these two perfect loving,caring human beings in my life. i felt and still feel like the luckiest man alive. we walked in the surf and just talked. checked out all the hot guys cruisin by in their boats lol. Jessie Faye was just the coolest person to be with. Jessie your mom got the tattoo you and her were going to get together. sarah and her mom brought by your cheerleading award it was really nice. its not right what happened,its not fair to mom.how can she rationalize this. if theres any way, any how,or why-can't JESUS help us to understand. No matter what-i'll always love you jessie
I love the cans of spaghetti O's that circle all around this page....Its totally Jessie!
well jessie thankyou again. me and your mom were at your grave sight and we sat on the tailgate of the truck to rest,we both noticed something splashing down in the swamp and realized it was a dog through the ice,we ran down to get a closer look and i said to mom-"what would Jessie do?" we ran back to the road and crossed the bridge ,down the other side of the creek .grabbed a tree a beaver chewed off and coaxed the poor dog over to us,he managed to crawl up on the tree and we both crawled out and grabbed him and pulled him out, i thought i was gonna have a heart attack running back to the road with this dog in my arms, we got him home and warmed him up,he was the amish farm dog,after warming him up we took him home,now he is sick sweety can you help him to heel?, i'll pray for this dog for the sake of the children who must love him so
I miss seeing your face everyday!, Hearing your loud voice screaming at the end of the hall way "Ay Bay Bay", Driving fast in the jeep, jamming to music, and simply our friendship talks. I miss you more and more everyday. I find myself going to talk to you more and more at the cemetary. I guess i only find peace there and at your house. I have a voicemail from you saved on my cell phone I play over and over everyday and resave it. Just to hear your voice everyday. I hate seeing pictures now, knowing i wont see you for a long time. I HATE IT! I went to Hillary Boyle's birthday party and we lit 16 candles for her 16th birthday and then her and I lit 2 more to make 18 candles for your 18th birthday. It was very special. I tell everyone im fine, but i really feel like im melting inside. My family, mama Lisa, Tim, my other 2 LA gurls, amanda, and the Boyle's are who keep pushing me through this. Thank you all so much. I miss you so much and I love ya gurly. xoxoxo
well jezz your 18 now, i planned on selling my big red jeep to surprise you with a vehicle for this day,a couple people wanted to trade but we decided against it,you would have looked cool in that black BMW. i wrote your name in the dust all over the hood and think about you all day-everyday. so many good memories,thanks to you.since i met you my heart has shined,going around the hospital with goofy glasses on or a funny hat trying to be the patch adams of life, a laugh, a tear of happiness, a smile that makes life worth living.
i'll carry on that tradition-you can count on it,hopefully i don't get fired lol. I'm investigating what may have happened to you, the gardisil shot they are telling all young women they must have. we will get to the bottom of this and prevent it from happening to others-count on it. if you can guide me it would be of great help. thankyou for the heads up on a few things lately,if you didn't warn me with a sign i would have hit that dog and our furnace may have blown up thankyou. still can't figure out the water in the bathroom sink running and the back door wide open but i'm working on it lol. I LOVE YOU JEZZMO,I LOVE YOU SOOOOOO MUCH , BY THE WAY -HOW DID YOU TALK THESE POOR BOYS INTO WEARING SPORTS BRA'S?
Hey Jessica Faye
Happy Birthday!!!!! You know me and how I am so technologically behind. Emilia had to show me how to write this message. I miss you sooooooo much! Tonight were releasing balloons for you at the Omar Cemetary. I hope you'll capture them in heaven. I'm sure you will. Not a day goes by that I don't think of a memory we have shared together. I was just remembering our past memories and all of us eating your mom's famous mint ship cake with no forks. That was fun!! I remember the one year where we threw a party in the loft above your little barn. We had so much fun rocking out to music and swinging on that chair. School is pretty slow, especially now. Yesterday we had a party for you in gym class. We had mint chip ice-cream just for you. My mom just told me snow is on the way tonight. Jessie, u really do need to sto pthe snow and send some sunshine our way. LOL. Your still snowboarding aren't you? Well I apolagize that this is my first time writing; I've been sick and I'm not good with words when sharing them out loud. Thers so much tyo say, but I know u already know. I love u girlie and miss u!!!!!!!
LOVE Elaina Margaret
JESSIE......it's FINALLY your 18th Birthday!!!!!! YEAH!! I remeber how excited you were to turn 18, because that meant you were old enough to go dancing in the clubs.. haha! I'm going with Elaina and Emilia to the cemetary tonight to release baloons for your birthday with your family. I bought flowers for your birthday Jessie, I'll take them to your mom and tim tonight-they're really pretty, they look just like Spring.
We had a birthday party in gym yesterday for you... confetti cake with chocolate frosting, green mint chip and moose tracks ice cream (ur faves!), and of course....PEPSI!
Remember your party last year and emilia didn't have time to wrap your present and she gave you that cute pink purse, still in the target bag...HAHAHA!!! And we quickly had to run in to price chopper to buy the ice cream cake, gosh that was fun!
Miss you sooooo much Jessie.
Love always and forever,
Sarah
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