Memories
Nov. 22, 2008 The other night as I was in bed reading as I do often, I could hear Tim laughing at something stupid on T.V. and I started crying because Jessie used to be the second person laughing her had off with Tim while watching something stupid or funny on T.V. Those 2 were always laughing and having fun. I miss that so much, the laughter and fun in this house. Miss you Jess, it's been 9 months today, Hell on earth.
Hey Jessie I wrote once but when I tried to scan a pic my message erased sooo....
It snowed a thin sheet over the ground this morning. I read one of Emilias messages and It reminded me of how much I missed of your life. I can only come to one conclusion, that if I never screwed around in school I could have been with you I would have been with you and I could have done something to save you, I love you Jessie Faye.
Tonight my mom and gidget were looking through pictures and Gidget had found a picture of me and you, the one at my 10th birthday, I was wearing my cool new stunna shades and you were in you tan overalls and a flower tee. Remember the stretchy necklaces we had mine was rainbow and yours black? Well we were wearin those. Back then you were my best friend and now I am down to none. Everyone in school teases me and calls me names constantly still and I hate. I know Im 18 get over it, but I cant its hard. Also I try to make girl friends but, I found out girls are rude, and full of drama, but maybe if we stuck together I wouldnt have to worry about it.
Iam in cheerleading again giving it another shot, my grades are good and I am a senior finally. ( the stupid gardisil commercial is on i want to smask the screen I took you away from all of us!!!)
I hate when I see commercials about Gardisil, I got the shot and I was fine, and you, you got the crapy end of the deal and you didnt deserve it at all.
Jessie can I ask you something? Why did we ever fall apart? I believe it was my fault, when I failed, we drifted apart and it stinks so bad because now I will never be able to get to know you I am sorry I started caring now Its wrong of me, but I love you and you should know it.
Here is the picture that Gidget found I hope it brings you back to good times, It sure does me. I love you Jessie!!
I just wanna say I LOVE YOU TIM AND MAMA LISA.....I'm soo proud of you for being soooo strong!!! xoxoxo
~LA Gurl forever and always
Hey Jess,
I went to your house today to help your mom get the word out about the Gardasil shot... And i thought of all the things i could say to try to inform people every where about the side effects that the doctors won't tell you. I've talked about the shot and you tons of times before to people at college and to some of the people i work with... but when the reporter started asking questions about you... i lost it.... it made me remember all the memories... but most importantly how much i missed you. After i started crying during the interview... i knew i couldn't talk about all the things i wanted to talk about. The girls that did talk tho did really good... i just hope that the news interview opens the eyes of the public. I want people to realize what can happen. I still plan on telling everyone about your story and to convince them not to get the shot and to spread the word. I know our word will get out eventually and i know your mom and family won't stop until our word gets out... And i'll help them any way i can...(Lisa if you ever need me to help out i will just call me or txt me and i'lll be there for you)
i'd have to say that every time it snows i miss you more and more.... i remember last year when it was snowing you were standing by mrs. timerman's window with a big grin on your face because the new snow fall meant you could go snowboarding. When i see the snow now i know that its you making it snow and even tho im not a fan of the snow every time it snows i can't help but smile because your telling us your still with us every day.
I Love you Jess and i miss you sooo much!!!!!!!
Hi Jess, November 14th is the date. On Tuesday and Wednesday of this coming week the local news channel 7 is running a special report on Gardasil. Alex Field interviewed me here at home about a month ago and she has been doing alot of research on Gardasil. Alex is also coming to our home on this Sunday to interview a group a brave girls, all Jessie's friends, on the affects that Gardasil has had on them. Whether they have had the vaccine or not they will all speak as a group against Gardasil. I am still amazed everyday with the things I have experienced, and the spirit of the people connected to Jessie in some way. God willing some day we can say that Gardasil is a thing of the past and we were part of the machine that brought it to an end. Thank you all for everything you do or are going to do in Jessie's name. MoM
Reading what Gramma Dennie posted on here just makes my heart sink. I recently read an article that said they were trying to give the gardasil shot to young boys also. Once again my heart just sank. We have to do everything in our power to stop this. People need to listen. I lost my best friend and I'm not about to give up either. Im so glad everyone is soo dedicated in spreading the word. We are trying Jessie. I love you and I miss you more than anything!!
Hi Miss Jess, Today I read some very disturbing information on a web page that was sent to me by Leslie Botha. She has the radio show that we spoke on. It said, to be brief in as few words that I can. That the FDA and Merck have lied to everyone about Gardasil and the wonders it is performing. It does not prevent cervical cancer and causes in 44% of women an increase risk of developing precancerous lesions. It went on to say that if the vaccine is given to a young woman who already carries HPV in a harmless state, it may activate the infection and directly cause percancerous leaions to appear. It went on and on to say the damning conclusion that appears to render Gardasil nothing more than a grand medical hoax. I can't seem to fathom what this could mean. I will keep on this till my dying day so other families will not have to experience what we have had to. I today have written to another TV station asking them to respond. Also I spoke to an editor at the big newspaper in Jacksonville asking him to make sure my letter gets printed. He assured me it would. For you I do this. Shine on Miss Jess.
Today is November 7, 2008. On Monday night Grandma, myself, Emily, and Teri all participated in a radio show out of Colorado, I feel we are taking baby steps to get the word out about Gardasil but at least we are getting the word out one step at a time. One radio show, one newspaper article, one news cast, but at least it's happening. Our vacation in Florida was bitter sweet, it was nice to visit my mom and her husband but where ever we went I thought of Jessie. She always went with me on trips to Florida. Matt went this time though and I am very grateful for that. While we were in Florida Matt got a tattoo in memory of his sister and it turned out great. He also came last night and picked up his sister's jeep. Now it is his and I know he will appreciate it and take care of it. Everyday is still a struggle to get to the end, but thanks to my family and friends they make it bearable. Love you and miss you Jess. Mom
hi jessie, a lot has happened that pertains to you sweets. we had the drawing for the four wheeler on oct. 4th and Rayda Snyder from alex bay won it. it was bittersweet because we felt like we were losing another part of you. well luckily for us grampa schryvers four wheeler has been acting up and he is buying yours back from Rayda.this is huge! because we'll get to see it now every time he tools by working around the farm. there goes grampa and jessie we'll say. i hope he feels the same way,i'm sure he already does. between all of the donations and the four wheeler raffle we cleared $19,000,after paying for the atv,promotional items and schloarships we have a lil over $11,000 in the jessica ericzon memorial scholarship fund.mom won't have to stress about coming up with money every year to keep the scholarship fund going which is good.she has enough to think about as it is. there is already a golf tournament scheduled at L.A. Golf in 09 and the omar church is going to donate funds every year from one of their breakfast fundraisers. mom and gramma dennie were just on a nationally syndicated radio talk show that deals with womens health problems and other mothers who have lost there daughters to this killer called Gardasil called in,this to is huge.i love you jess!!!
Hi Miss Jess, I haven't written in some time as time just gets away. I have been corrisponding with Leslie Botha who has a radio program in Colorado (Holy Hormones). I spoke to her today concerning Gardasil and you. She would like me and possibly your mom to be on her radio show to tell others about you. I hope this is another avenue to reach many others concerning Gardasil and your death. We who have lost our sunshine can not let it continue to happened.
In a week your mom, Tim and Matt will be here for a visit. I have been trying to think of things we could do while they are here. So many of the things we have done when you were with us. It will be so hard to do those things again with out you along. Your mom is having such a hard time with life in general now as we all are but more so with her. I just can not imagine life without your smiling face there. The question still is asked. WHY!!!!!
So glad Emelia is continuing to stay a Plattsburg. It is good that she has spoke about you to her room mates and they are being supportive and help her along.
Keep watching over us all. Tell Jonny I said Hi. Shine on Miss Jess.
October 19, 2008, almost 8 months have gone by and I still feel it was yesterday that we lost you. As odd as it seems I do have things to be thankful for. My friends, my family and my community make it possible to go on. I'm happy to announce that Jessie's Memorial fund has collected more than $19,000.00 since the end of February. Four awards have been given out for Jessie's classmates, and we paid for the four wheeler and a few other expenses, which leaves the fund a good base of over $10,000.00. A lady from Alex Bay won the ATV. I have been in touch with a second mom who lost her 16 year old daughter a few days after the Gardasil vaccine. The daughters name was Amber and her autopsy report was just like Jessie's. No cause found. Christine is the name of the other daughter who's mom I have been speaking to. Christine's mom has set up a website to try to find a common link associated with Gardasil and our daughter's death. The website is www.gardasilandunexplaineddeaths.com. On Friday I did an interview with Channel 7's Alex Field. I know she will do what is right by Jessie and get the story out to the mothers and daughters about Gardasil and what it has done to Jessie, Christine and Amber. Alex said the story may run as a series on Channel 7"s rating's week. LA Gurls, I'm sorry I missed you guys when you were all together. I'm sure you guys had alot of catching up to do. Thanks for the bulbs you planted, I can't wait to see what they are in the spring. I love and miss you all. Columbus Day weekend was a beautiful weekend at Echo Lake. Windows were replaced and a new woodstove was put in place. Camp keeps improving every year.
Hey Jessie girl,It's my second friday night staying here at college. Tonight I'm all by myself. One roommate went home and the other is out for the night and spending the night at her boyfriends. I sometimes don't give my roommates a chance, and It's not that I dont mean to, It's just hard being here without you. But as I sit here in my bed and hear all the other kids having fun on a friday night; I realize that my roommates I need them. They have been so good to me. There not as cool as you but there helping me. So thank you for giving me good roommates. I haven't talked to one of my best friends in about 2 months. We were inseperable, then he just left. There wasnt one day he didn't cross my mind. I asked you to keep him safe everyday, and about 2 weeks ago he started talking to me again. It feels soo good to have him back. Thank you Jess for helping me. You still pull through when I need you. The LA gurls all got to see eachother over the past weekend. The first time in 2 months. It's the longest we have been seperated. Sister Mary looks amazing like always. We went to the cemetary and planted some bulbs of some sort. It was good to all be there. We miss you sooo much Jessie. Everyone here at college is gathering and shining all there snowboarding equipment. Big White Face opens soon and there all rushing to get a seasons pass. When I come home over x-mas break, Collin has promised to teach me how to snowboard. I can't wait. I just wanna say I'm so proud of your mom and Tim, I love them so much! Keep your heads up and remember to smile. xoxoxo~Always and Forever
Hi Jess. Today is October 5th, 2008. Yesterday after the church breakfast at Omar, we drew the raffle ticket for your 4 wheeler. A woman from Alex Bay won it. I am so happy for it to be over with, but then I feel like another piece of me is being taken away. Between all the people who have had the 4 wheeler at their house or in their garage or barn, everyone has treated it like gold. We have taken care of Jessie's 4 wheeler since it was pulled into my yard on the 21st of June. Many people have bought a ticket because they knew Jessie, many never knew Jessie but bought a ticket anyway. And to all of you I say thank you from the bottom of my heart. Tim and I hosted a party last night and many, many people came. We wanted to show them how very much these past few months have meant to us. To thank everyone for their support and love they have shown since Jessie was taken away on February 22nd, 2008. I miss Jessie so much everyday and ask God why she was taken away before she even had a chance to begin a life that was so full of promise and adventure.. I love you Jess and miss you so much, and after reading the new caption at the top of your Memory page I promise to live as you would have wanted me to.
i remember Jessie loved the fall.we went to Mexico apple picking last year with a bunch of Lisa's co-workers. She always helped mom cut up the apples and can all our vegetables for the winter. We went for a nice fall hike at the nature center, We saw a huge black water snake and brought it to the attention of a group of people with little boys who were amazed at the sight. Thats what i loved about Jessie, we went on bike rides,hiking, canoeing,camping,cross country skiing,snowshoeing,sliding,four wheelin in willy,riding our 2-seater bike-Lisa and her were so much fun to be with. Another thing i like about Jessie was her honesty,she would feel sooooo bad if she ever did something dishonest,or hurtful to someone. She never did. I took the girls to this spot i used to go to where you canoe across this lil pond and come out on the dunes of lake Ontario. We just hung out,pitched a tent on the beach all day. Me and Jessie made a huge man in the sand with driftwood legs and arms. We explored the dunes and i took them to a hiking trail that has the history of the dunes and trails out to the lake,the dunes and a marsh. Whenever i pet grampa Murrays farmdog "Lucky" i think of how Jessie would love up ole luck everytime we'd go over to see them or help hay it. She'd lay right down with her and luck would start licking her face and Jessie would scream. I miss her giggle the most! When we'd be sittin there watching a funny movie or show she'd just be giggling through the whole thing. I miss her coming through the door just talking a mile a minute about school or sports. She could talk on the phone,text on her cell phone ,flip through the channels on the tv,and do her nails at the same time lol. i miss when she'd have friends over for the night and allllll night they'd be giggling and talking,munching out. Just a great group of people around here i feel fortunate. I am grateful. I LOVE YOU JESSIE SHINE ON
I haven't written since I left for college. Classes are all going good. Tough but I get through them. I still come home every weekend. I cant imagine staying here for a weekend, when I have an opportunity to go home. However, I'm staying this weekend for the first time. I'm a little scared. Actually a lot scared. I'm already counting down the days till October 3rd when I come home again. 10 more days. Ugh! It's tough leaving Sunday nights and coming back here to college. Its not at all that I hate it here, It just is sooo sad. It's hard re-adjusting for the week. I often wonder what your doing Jessie. If your having fun. If you can even see me or hear me. Our English teacher gave us an essay and you had to write a Descriptive essay about your favorite place. I know for a fact what you would write about. You wouldn't even hesitate, cuz you often told me this was ur favorite place in the world. Can you Guess? Camp! You would write about camp wouldn't you? Camp with ur whole family there. You would describe the drive, how you craved ur chicken fries on the way there, so a burger king stop we'd make. You would write about jiffy pop, and how you loved making it. Spaggehti O's, Watermelon, your moms turkey bacon (you always made her get), shaving cream, the micky mouse alarm clock(that u always told me about every trip there, even thou i already knew). You loved it there. And It came right to my mind when my teacher gave us this topic and told us we had to write about our favorite place on earth. I often hold in any feeling of grief here. However, I still have a lot of break downs. I mention you all the time to my roomies, but Stacie didnt know any details. I filled her in about everything. About the shot, about the last txt messages you sent me. We all sat here in tears. They all could feel my pain, and we all shared it together for the night. I'm sooooo thankful for Elaina here. She's my strength that keeps me going. I call Amanda once a day, and we always re-cap our old memories. It's a childhood, a lifetime that we'll all never forget. Sarah is doing well in south carolina. She loves it there, but we knew she would. It's totally Sarah, and I'm so proud of her. Elaina and I got certified to rock climb. Its soo much fun. We try and keep busy. Our birthday is coming up. Big 19. I cant believe it. Im not excited this year. A birthday without you here, and a birthday stuck in college. Doesnt sound like any fun to me. The big four wheeler raffle will be October 3rd, I really hope someone from school or at least in LA wins it. That would be good. I miss you Jessie. More than anything in the world. Love you gurlie.
~Always and Forever
7 months today i miss you jezzmo!!!
Jessie...I really do not know where to begin. Jamie truly loved you like a sister and you two girls were so close in elementary school it was not funny! I remember all the times you would come over to the house and spend the night and all I could hear is you two girls laughing & giggling! Wow it seems like it was only yesterday. I still can not believe that you girls grew apart over the years but always remember Jamie always had a place for you in your heart. God has his reasons for things...and he is the only one that knows why, but I still think that Jamie askes Him that questions almost every second of her time. I enjoy going into her room and seeing your picture on her dresser, it ways puts a smile on my face. I was also so proud of her to get up @ your funeral and say a few words about your childhood that you two shared together...she was so scared and did not know what to say but everyone said she did a great job! Jessica, I had a baby-girl on June 30th of this year and she is beautiful and always smiling like you did! I looked at her last night and I can not image what your mom when & is going threw right now...all I know is you are still with us each and every day and it is good that all of your friends & family know that! You may have not gone to college with all of your friends but you are sharing that experience with them right now because you are with them each and every day of their lives! Also you may not be here in person to share many memeories with your friends and family but you are the sun shinning in the day and the moon glowing at night. Jessie we all miss you and love you so much...
Lisa & Tim---Be strong! You both are the strongest people I know...We love you & you will always be in our thoughts and prayers!
I just want to say that you are an amazing person. I loved driving up our road and seeing you and Matt outside, always doing something crazy! You made a huge differerence in my life. You were/are positive and always shinning! You always had a smile on your face and I know you still do. I know Johhny is with you and you are both home, but you are both in my heart. I think about you both often and know that you guys are looking down on us, with us. Lisa, you are an amazing person. That's were Jessie got it from!
Kristen I'm writting in responce to your corrospondence. Thank you for not letting Jessies memory fade. Thank you for letting me know about the article in the magazine. Maybe I should write them and set them straight. And you are right about Merck not taking the deaths seriously. It seems that they consider all the deaths and side affects as something that they expected and its no big deal to them. I remember your mom talking to me about your migrane headaches and no one considered it to be the Gardasil vaccine, just like with Jessie, no one put 2 and 2 together and thought it could have been the vaccine. Thanks Kristen. Love you and keep smiling. Lisa
Hey Jessie,
It seems like now that im in college i think about you so much more... i thought about you all the time earlier but everything reminds me of you. I miss the study halls with everyone to. its wierd being at college with new kids when you've been going to school with the same kids for 13 years. so i was reading this months issue of my cosmo and im reading through it then i turn the page and the story headline was "The shot that can safe your life" i instantly knew what it was about. i got so saddened by the whole thng because to me its not the shot that saves lives it the shot that takes them. i didn't read the article but i did read the last paragraph saying the sympotoms that may occur after having the shot. it says like 17 people died, but the way they have it written makes it seem like they just shrug their shoulders at it like oh 17 people died oh well. it upsets me because those were loved ones that died from that shot... people that were taken away from their families and friends. Im telling everyone i can about your story and Gardasil... i figure if i can change someone's mind about the shot then i can possibly save their life. i actually wrote my first english essay on you and everything that happened. The feed back i got from some people that had peer reviewed it said that it touched them. I Love YOu so Much Jess!!!!!!!!!!
Lisa- The Gardasil shots actually gave me severe migraines, the doctors couldn't figure out why i got them but i traced it back to when they first started and they started right after i had gotten my first shot of the Gardasil. If i would have known this would occur i would never had gotten the shot... they told me the side effects were not that bad... I wish the doctors would have never pushed the shot untill they knew what would really happen.
Stay strong, my prayers are with you!
Kristen
Hi Jess, I just spoke to another Mother the other night who's daughter passed away after having her 3rd gardasil vaccine. She was 21 and attending college. Her autopsy report was the same as yours, undertermined cause. It seems there has been 11 deaths that we know of associated with Gardasil that cannot be explained away. Death isn't the only circumstance of the vaccine, there has been seizures, girls being paralyzed, fainting, and even Guillian Barr Syndrome, and the vaccine is only 2 years in the making. What happens years from now with the girl that have had it. I just don't know how many more have to die before Merck does something about it. One a month is to much. One is to much period. I miss you so much Jess it is still a nightmare that I cannot wake up from.
Today the letter went out to the Jacksonvile Times Union regarding you and Gardasil. The thing that prompted me to do it was a phone call from my good friend Betty. Turn on your TV she said. There is a thing on about the HPV virus. I did so and it was a segment of a new show called the Doctors where they have a panel of DR's who talk on a certain subject. The subject was Gardasil and its side effects and the good it is doing. THERE WAS MY SIGN!!!!!!! There was a mother who was about to have her daughter receive the Gardasil shot. There was a mother who's daughter had one shot and the reactions she had from the one shot. In the end after much talk the mother who was about to have her daughter vaccinated decided to wait and see. Wise decision. I taped it to send to your mom and Tim. Hopefully the letter will have parents stop and think, do the research before other girls have the series of shots. I guess if we keep this before the people out there it may do some good. Miss Jess it is for you we do this. Other parents, grandparents and friends shouldn't have to go thru what we are going thru. If we can prevent it for just one, it is worth it. Shine on Miss Jess.
hi jess,whats crackin? can't seem to get over missing you , another school year has started,college is underway. seems like everyones life is going on around us, but ours stands still. standing still with no answers! i feel like standing up and screaming out,has everyone forgotten that a young girl died and there is no reason? but then i realize there is nothing they can do. i sometimes feel i should just shut up and let healing our heart take over but i'm sorry -for Lisa's sake i have to keep trying to find out what i can. keep trying to protect her. keep trying to get her through this as painless as possible. Jessie i promised you i would do my best to find out why,i'll never give up! shine on jessica
Hi Miss Jess, I have thought and prayed about what to do to get the word out. A few weeks ago one of the TV news shows in Jacksonville had a blip about Gardasil and the side effects that have been coming out about it. Last week I wrote a letter to our home town paper about you and Gardasil. I wasn't sure they would print it but it was in the paper last week. Since then I have had several people come to me and tell me thank you for letting us know that Gardaisl has side effects. They will not be having their daughters vaccinated. I have been asked to send the letter to the Jacksonville Times Union where there is a very large number of people that will read it. Again I have prayed about it and have not come to a decision as of yet what to do. As your mom says, "I am waiting for a sign". Miss you so very much. Still hear your giggle. Shine on Miss Jess.
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