Les Mémoires
Today is Sunday June 8th, I've had quite a weekend. It all started on Wednesday night when I stopped at the cemetary on my way home from work. Still no headstone. While I was there I asked you for some help, I needed something, I'm not sure what, some reassurance you were ok, something, I didn't care what. I don't ask very often but when I do you come thru for me. On Thursday at work a very good friend of mine came to me and wanted to know if I had to work on Friday, and of course I did. Because if I could get the day off, she had a ticket for me to use. This ticket was for the Women in Faith conference in Rochester on Friday and Saturday. I have never been and I didn't know anything about it. There were 7 people going and they were staying at the Hyatt Regency hotel in Rochester just blocks away from the conference. Arrangements were made so I could take the day off, and we left for Rochester around 11:00am on Friday morning. When we got to the hotel, the room that was booked in advance was still not vacated. So they gave us, believe it or not, the "Presidential Suite" on the top floor. Baby Grand piano, 3 bathrooms, 4 tv's, kitchen, conference table, 2 balconies, even a jacuzzi tub, 2 bedrooms and 2 sleeping cots. I slept on one and it was very comfortable. This was just what I needed, the conference was spectacular. Rock concert one minute and the next, story tellers. I laughed, I cried, but the one thing I needed most was the feeling of peace when I came home. A reassurance that you were in the right hands, and that you are being taken care of. I love you Jessie, and I will be with you down the road.
Jezzmo and homey G
hi sweety, well tonight was a pretty bad night Jess,I had to put Holmes to sleep and then go to my brothers calling hours. Holmes just went down hill since you have passed. He stayed in your room for three days and looked for you for weeks. I said to your mom when we first met and it was obvious how much you loved Holmes that i hoped he lived til you were off to college before he passed away. Little did i know he would outlive you. After you passed he lost weight and his back legs gave out. I know he's with you in your arms which makes it all o.k. I sure will miss my homey g,i had him for 18 years. My brother Doug was a great guy,always the life of the party,always making fun. He was still home when i was little. He played ball, and frisbee and went fishing with me,i will never forget that. I love you Jessie,Holmes and Doug,i will always remember the good times and love you forever!
Lisa i totally agree with you people do have their ways of grieving and well im now relizing that. I did not know Jessie in her teen years but i did in her elementary years. ~Jess do you remember when after our girl scout meetings you and i would beg our mothers to let us go to eachothers houses? We would pet the horses, and your mom always told us not to go near Red but we did anyways. I cant remember how old you were but at your birthday party when everyone was down stairs in the basment playing I was sitting on your mothers counter top cuttig your oreo ice-cream cake, you mother had to telll me a gazilian times to not cut myself !
I loved your house, no drinks after 7, stay out of matts room(like we listended), no you can not take a shower together in your swimsuits, and my favorite go to sleep or your getting seperated, like your mom would ever do that to us! ~ Jessie yesterday was June 1st and before i went to work at Foxys my mom my sister mikayla and I stopped to see your mother. The first thing i thought when we pulled in was okay i made it this far, and then there came facing that old door we would run all day. I looked around and remebered the old sand box that sat right on the corner of the barn, how much fun we hade in there making castles, canals, etc... I walked into your front door and yelled "Lisa" and here came your mom with that serious look the one where she dosent know what to think. We all sat in the living room and our mothers chatted up a storm. I sat quietly, yes me quiet, and look around at all the pictures of you, and i relized how much i missed out on, you had such a beautiful life. Finally that annoying cat of youres broke my thoughts with its meow-ing, by the way i thought it was a baby, so I asked your mom if i could go get it she and Tim said if could catch it, wouldnt ya know the thing went right for my mom! So about 10-15 minutes later I silently walkeed up the stairs feeling everyones eyes on me...I Looked into matts old room, slippers and jeans on the floor, and then i see the guest room turned into Mom and Tims room?, and then there was the sewing room...remember when we played barbies in there it always smelled like...old books...idk... but i saved the scariest for last...Your room...I love how you redecorated no dreamcatchers? that was my favorite part of the room and they are not there or atleast i did not see them...I looked through the photo album on the floor, pictures on walls and doors, and you know what i relized you have none of us when we were kids.
Hi Jess, It's Sunday June 1, 2008. I'm sure by now you have made introductions in heaven for Doug. He never met your uncle Jonny though, but I'm sure those 2 will get along just great. You may have to keep them in line. For those of you who don't know who Doug is, he is Tims older brother who passed away early Saturday morning of a heart attack, he was only 53. Dougs wife Teri is a good friend and co-worker of mine at the hospital. Both Doug and Teri were there for us after Jess passed away. They both have big huge hearts and now Teri's is broken. I can honestly say I know how she feels. It has not hit Tim full force yet, I think he is still numb from Jessie being gone. Everyone grieves in their own way and Tim has had a lot of family he has lost over the years. It's now 2 sisters and a brother since I met him in December of 2003. Out of 11 brothers and sisters, Gloria, Kim,Stan and Tim are the only ones still with us on this earth. In my eyes Tim has become and expert on grief. I know I don't know what I would have done without him to help me with my grief. I just wish I knew what to do to help him. This year has been filled with nothing but grief and thank god it's almost half over. We miss you Jess, we miss you Jonny and now we miss you too Doug.
I just wanted to Congratulate the LA gurls for winning your games. I spoke to Lisa several days ago and she told me how proud she was of you all. I am also very proud of you. I can just see you Miss Jess, jumping all over haven right now hugging all the other angels. What a way to end your years at LA. I can't wait to see you all next month and hug you all. Lisa told me that Matt will be accepting Your Diploma Miss Jess, On graduation day. I think that is wonderful. He will be so proud to be able to accept in your honor. It looks like there will be quite a crowd of family coming to your graduation ceremony. I hope we can all fit in on the tickets we have. You should see your and Jon's Memoral garden. It is growing every day. I was out there this morning adding some new flowers. I have to send off and get some solarlights for both garden's to add color at night. I miss so much our talks. When I talk to your mom, I wish she could hand the phone to you and I could hear you laughter and voice. BUT we have such wonderful memories don't we. Shine on Miss Jess.
thanks to Mr. Gosier for turning all the kids on to the envirenment, i know it had a great impact on jessie
Tim and myself made it to camp on Saturday around noon, Uncle Steve, Uncle Jerry and Aunt Laurie had been working on the water for the last 3 hours trying to get the pump to hold a prime and get it working properly. They did it just before we got there. So now we have water again for the summer. Being at camp was like opening a raw wound again, everything we did, saw and ate, reminded all of us of Jessie. I knew it was going to be hard to be there, but I didn't think it was going to be so disheartening. It just isn't camp without Jessie. We all brought some plants to camp so we could finish a garden we started for Jonny last year, now it is for Jessie and Jonny. Tim got grandma to sit in front of our video camera and tell her life story. She will be 93 in September and she has just as much spunk as she did when she was 73. Grandma still walks up and down the path to the lake, unbelievable!. The ATV made it's debute at the Memorial Day parade in LaFargeville, thanks to many friends to get the ball rolling. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH. We have until October 4th to sell as many tickets as we can to benefit the Jessica Ericzon Memorial Fund for the future senior classes at LCS. LCS girls softball team is the best. I'm so proud of all of you, YOU DID IT. You girls are the greatest. Love you all. Love you Jess. Bye for now.
Hey Tim: I love that picture you just posted of the four of us acting crazy 
! haha. That was the first night that we figured out how to work the timer on Jessie's camara. lol.
"Baby girl, close your eyes.
You don’t know the strength you have inside
If I could I'd shelter you from all the pain that we all must go through
But it’s up to you.
The road is long – it twists and turns
But everything in life you live and learn
No one ever said that life was easy or that all in love is fair
But look inside your heart you’ll find the answer waiting there"
These are some of the Lyrics from the song "Always There In You" by The Valli Girls. This song is the movie the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants: whenever we read those books or watched that movie is was almost like we watching a story written about the four of us. This summer the 2nd movie comes out and its about 4 inseperable best friends who graduate from high school and head off to college. We have been waiting forever for it to come out and finally in august it will be out... its going to be so hard to watch it without Jessie here.
Tim and Lisa: I hope you had a great time at camp this weekend. Always remember that we are always here for you. I love you both!
I love and miss you Jessie!
Love always and forever,
Sarah
Wahoo! We are Playoff champions. We just brought home a banner. We beat Bellville 13-12. We continued the game from a previous rain delay. So we came into the game with a score of 9-4. They were winning. However we didn't get down on ourselves and we continued to play hard. We pulled through and won 13-12. Then we played Sacketts like 20 minutes after our defeat over Bellville. We weren't tired we were ready to take on this cocky undefeated team. And so we did. We beat them 3-1 and became playoff champs and brought home the banner. And we did it all for You, Jessie. I know you were there with us jumping for joy. U were so proud. I love you gurlie. Oo not to mention the kick off to raising money for your scholarship fund for next year was a total success. The four-wheeler is a big hit. Hope Tim and Lisa enjoyed there time away at camp. I know that it had to be a very hard place to go. One of Jessie's favorite places was camp. She loved it. Love you Jessie and miss you more than anything.
Always and Forever,
the girls stopped over the other night to see us. i came in from the barn and as i washed my hands at the kitchen sink,listening to all the chatter and laughter, it seemed like Jessie was in there with them again,i loved it. I'm really gonna miss you guys when you go off to college. We love you
The four wheeler is going to be picked up tomorrow or Wednesday and then we will be selling tickets for a while to benefit the next years scholarship fund. I'm getting excited about it and I know we will do well.
Love you Jess so muc. Miss you forever.
hey jezz,what it is sista? I used to talk to Jessie like that and think i was cool lol. I remember when i was a senior,i was friggin scared. I was headed off to school in a strange place and knew it was time to step up to the plate and work to survive. Leaving family and friends is tough. I flew to Denver the day of graduation, i worked nights at a 7/11 convenience store and went to school during the day. I remember being a senior and playing up i was all excited about gettin outa here and doin something with my life. The truth was i was weighing the risks of being on my own with knowone but friends from school to talk to. Guess what i met and really liked a lot of really cool people from all over the u.s.a. and had a great time while i learned a trade. I was cool,had a job, a bad ride and a gf, lol. I am so awesomely amazed at all of the great things that the community,school,friends and family have done for Lisa. I am awe struck at the kindness, support and friendship that every one of you has shown. In the face of the worst possible thing that could happen--thousands of GODS bright shining stars come crashing through with empathy,support and angels wings to hold us up and help us deal with what has happened. GOD bless you all for what you have done!
Today is May 15th, 2008. Tim and I went to Sonny's after work today and I used the gift certificate that the staff in Ambulatory Surgery gave me awhile ago. We picked out a tree we have never seen before, it's called a Weeping Pea. The ones we saw a few days before were beautiful but they were all sold. So we had to wait for some more to come in. Tim and I picked out the best one but it looks a little sad, but I didn't care because I know it will be beautiful soon once we take it home and give it some TLC. We planted it right next to the house by the pond. That is Jessie's tree. Emilia, I know how you feel, but Jessie is still with us. Last night she woke me out of my sleep when she said "MOM". She comes thru for us when we need it the most. We have to try to think positive, we still have each other and our most precious friends. I love you Emilia, hang in there. Sarah, I love you too.
Hey Jessie,
I wish you were here. I haven't wrote in a while, I have been kinda lost. I too am hoping one day I will wake up from this awful scary nightmare. I HATE IT. I hate life. I use to dream of the LA Gurls almost every night, not just the LA Gurls but about a lot of different kids in school. Now I close my eyes and when I dream Jessie is gone. She doesn't even come to me in my dreams. Shes dead there too. In my dreams I know Jessie is gone, I'm still so heartbroken. Last week I had a dream and for the first and only time you were there. We were in the library sitting and I knew you were sick. Your head hurt you. I was hitting you in the head with a blow up bat (filled with air). And I knew I couldn't hit you hard, I knew you were dying. I hated it. I always wake up, and cry. I just wanna wake up and see you. I feel like I'm dying without you. Everyday just doesn't get any easier. I wear a smile on my face everyday, I try and lift my head, for Lisa. I promised her I wont go anywhere. We'll be strong together. I love you Mama Lisa. I love you Tim.
Always and Forever
Hey Jess. I miss you a lot. I visit this website all the time and a lot of the time when I try to write something I just lose my words and can't see past the tears. I guess it just seems impossible to find the right words to describe how much we all love and miss you. I half expect myself to wake up from this aweful dream every morning, but then I just realize that my worst nightmare is true. I love you jessica faye!
love always and forever,
me
p.s. wish me luck on my finals tomorrow jess... trust me im gonna need it! lol
Yesterday, Mother's day. It was the worst mothers day of my life. It was such a hopeless day for me. But I did have one bright spot, Matt stopped by on his way to work and presented me with a wicker basket. It was beautiful, and it was great that he came by. I went to the Grand March on Saturday night and it was difficult to be there without Jessie. People say I am strong but I think I'm not, because no matter what i"m doing I always have Jessie on my mind, she never goes away from me. All the girls were just beautiful in their gowns and the guys were so handsome in their suits. I was so proud of all of them. I miss you so much Jessie, I feel so lifeless without you. I found the picture of Matt and Jessie snowboarding the last time they went to dryhill together. Love you Matt.
hey jess member when we used to go to dry hill and go snowboarding I still remember that day when we rode the lift up the hill together and you took that picture of us together I will have to ask mom for a copy of it I miss hangin with you on days that you didnt have anything going on we would chill in my room and play guitar hero until we got sick of it you were getting pretty good you could beat me in a few songs but i still won most of the time lol I love you Jess next year I will save a spot on the lift because i know that you will right beside me waiting to fall getting off the lift lol i got mom a wicker basket that the amish made for mothers day you would have liked it it just isnt the same with you gone i wish that i could see you just one more time to tell just how much i love you. but i got to go for now will chat at you soon your big brother. p.s. how do you like those sun glasses i thought you might need them lol peace out.
Hey Jess! Last night was prom. I wish so badly that you were there! It just wasn't the same without you. I am so glad that your mom came over before prom and then went to grand march! Here is a picture of all of us with Mama Lisa!
I love and miss you more than I will ever be able to express in words.
Love always and forever,
Sarah
Hi Jessie, I think about you everyday. I think of how your mother is getting through each day without you, I keep saying thank god for Tim. I seen your mother up to the softball game the other night and tonight I seen her at the grand march for the prom. I know she is so lost without. I was thinking at the grand march, if you were there you would look like a million dollars with the most beautiful dress on. We miss you and love you Rob, Amber, Cody & Lacey
Hi miss Jess, It has been some time now since I have written anything to you. I get on you page and read what others are writting to you and I cry so much I find it hard to put anything down. Today I am determined to put it down. Sunday was a hard day for me. I had given up any hope of seeing my little Pansie cat. She disapeared on Wednesday night. She is always in the house before bed time and sleeps with me. I thought maybe God took her home to be with you. I went to church and while I was there they asked if anyone had a bible they would like to place in one of the 8 corners of our new church before they poured the concrete the following week. I imediatly knew Jonnie would like his bible to be placed there. I use his bible in Sunday School and church for looking up passages of scripture so I had it with me. His bible went off the kitchen corner as I knew how he liked to cook from time to time. Each person who donated a bible, dug a hole and placed the bible wrapped in a zip bag into the hole and covered it. We all got together where the prayer room will be located and had a small service with prayer. We then went home. I called your mom and told her what we had done and we both told of our bad day and cried a bit. Then I feel we were lifted up by the bible story. I told her of Pansie missing on top of everything else going on. She told me she has no motavation to do things as you are not there to be with her now. It is times like these I wish we could live closer so I could be there to help her and Tim at this very difficult time. I know time will help but you never get over the hurt of loosing a child as that child is a part of you. Well to make a long story short. I was out at the greenhouse on Monday potting some plants. I started for the house to get something and was walking up on the back patio when around the house from the other direction comes this half starved wobbly cat. She was so happy to see me and me her. I carried her in the house and she just talked trying to tell me what had happened to her. She ate, drank and then went to bed for the rest of the day. I called Stan right away to tell him the lost had been found. He knew how happy I was as he could see on Sunday I had given up on ever finding Pansie. She must have been cought in a tree or something as she had pine pitch and bark stuck in her fur. I think you had something to do with Pansies return as you knows how much we care for our animals. I just couldn't take loosing another thing right now. So you and God brought her back home. I am working on your and Jon's memorial garden. The roses right now are so very beautiful. It will be so much bigger with all the new plants I have to put in there. It keeps me busy and takes my mind off the missing you.
Shine On Miss Jess, Till the next time.
jammin on the bus
i remember when Jessie turned 16. I thought man this is really a special birthday and we were having a party here for her. I proceeded to empty the haymow, got it all swept out. Then i put christmas lights on every rafter all the way down through. I got a strobe light and hooked my red emt light to a battery and our dance floor was done. Jess said the boys would prolly play cards so i set up some tables and chairs and hung a swing down in the end of the haymow. put in a countertop for the stereo and food and bada bing bada boom a sweet 16 party pad was born. She made cd's of all her party music and finished preparing,just seeing the joy and excitement on her face i knew i had made this special for her. Over the past year i was wondering how i was gonna top that for her 18th birthday.
Willy my big red jeep sits in the barn,Jessies name and lil footprints in the dust on the hood. I bought that for her as much as for me. She always wanted a four wheeler and i always wanted a jeep you could take the top off so we both loved Willy. Now i have no reason for driving it. It just sits there,i haven't even worked on it or even sat in it. Just not the same without her here. Ya know how i called Jessie, Jezzmo?(her pimp name i used to say), now i call the Willys--JEEPMO. I miss ya Jezzmo! I Love Ya Girl!
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