Hey Jess.
Miss you! I turned 16 a while ago can you beleive it? Soo that means i can get my drivers license in a couple months :). I just hope i dont break down when im driving up at camp like you did. ;P I miss our camp adventures lol. I still look at what you wrote in the book every once in a while, makes me think of how much things have changed. You'd be all grown up by now, just like Emilia lol. As soon as i turn 18 im going to get a tatoo of a key for you Jess. We all miss you and think of you often. I hope your having fun up in heaven. Love you Jess <3. 
P.S: Tim and you mom's card they gave me for my birthday made me cry <3.  

Hi Jess, it's rainy and cool today, fall is on it's way. I have so many memories of us at camp in the fall, cutting and stacking wood for next year's supply.  Going for walks in the woods with the leaves crunching under your feet and the spectacular colors reflecting off Echo Lakes surface.  Most of all though I miss our family without you.  Maddie turned 16 a couple of days ago and I can't believe how time flies.  I love this picture taken of the two of you at camp in the fall.  You two loved each other very much.  I love you very much and miss you.
MOM
 

Jess, It is that time of year again to plan the silent auction to be held during the benefit breakfast to support your schoolarship.i am proud to be part of this event.I am out there asking for donations and passing out posters with your pic and Tim's story of your passing.although this raises awareness,I wish that I never had to be part of this for any young woman,especially one as special as you have been to so many people.you are so loved and missed young lady R.I.P.

Hi Jessie, I got a tattoo in MS...my son told me I should have it, so I figured he was right! I got these awesome hearts, by my heart! When I showed your Mom, (who I think the world of), she just couldn't believe it...it was the same tattoo you drew!! You know how much I think of "Little Lisa"...did you lead me to that tattoo for her? I've often wondered! And if so, I'm glad I have it!
Your Mom misses you so much, it breaks my heart! I thank God you two had the wonderful relationship you had...and made so many wonderful memories! I know you're in heaven, please tell my Dad I love and miss him, and Johnny too! I always saw Johnny at Dad's having a visit! They were pals! God Bless you honey...

Hi Jess, last Monday night I went for a horse back ride with one of my friends from school and her daughter,  that was so much fun.  It made me miss red so much and I wished I had heer back just like I wish I had you back safe and sound with me.  I would love to get another horse, Tim and I were even on Craigslist looking at some the other night.  But it's not the right timing for another horse, so I will just have to ride with my friends awhile longer and think of you and Red.  Love you and miss you.  Mom

Hi Miss Jess,
A few days ago I was going through many of the files I have been keeping on Gardasil.  I found and played the DVD that your classmates made for you of your short life.  I laughed and cried because it was sooooooooooo you. I was blessed that I was able to be included in so many of your memorable days even thought we lived so far away from each other.  I have such fond memories that keep you close.  It is hard to believe that you have been gone 4 and 1/2 years from our lives. You are GREATLY missed by so many.

Tomorrow will be Jonny's 47th birthday.  I know he is with you along with so many that have gone before.  I found a letter that he wrote to me many years ago while I was going through everything.  That too sent a flood of memories to my minds eye.  That is what keeps us going, Those memories.

Blessings and SHINE ON   

when Steve and Laurie came to visit us with maggie and the kids and Maddie Pearl i could feel you near soooo much. I'm glad that even though your not here  , you still will never miss out on these special memories. 

WE ALL MISS YOU SO MUCH IT HURTS.

Hi Jess, wish grandma Dennie a Happy Birthday today.  She came for Emilia and Tony's wedding on the 26th of May, and it was a bitter sweet day, you know why.  I've been stressing about what to write my speech about during graduation when I give away four $500. awards in your name.  I was just reading Emilias post and she said it's the little things that she misses and it came to me that is what I will write about.  Someone told me last year after my speech that I taught him something new every year when I did my speech.  I hope to teach everyone something everytime I get up in front of that crowd.  I want to say Happy Birthday Mom!  Thank you for teaching me to be the person I am, I love you and cherish every moment that we spend together, which isn't enough in my book.  Love You Jess, Love You Mom.  Lisa   P.S.  The picture is of the Dress Mom was talking about in her post on the 8th of May.

missing you like crazy jess

Hi Miss Jess,
Here we are in the month of May.  Everyone is so looking forward to Emilia and Tony's wedding at the end of the month. I have my tickets to fly north and now I am trying to decide what the wear. It takes me back to the time your mom and I went shopping with you.  We were buying a dress for you to wear for your induction into the National Honor Society.  We went into every shop that had a dress for sale.  You found one that was what you wanted but we kept looking because that dress was a little too expensive.  All the shops were closing and we were still looking.  We finally rushed back and purchased that dress that you fell in love with in the very first shop.  Remember the dress?  What an honor it was for your mom and I to be standing on the stage with you, placing the NHS ribbon over your head on the day.  There you were with Emilia, Sarah and your other classmates looking so excited and expexctant of things to come.
Now another expectant day is upon us and what a grand day it will be when Emilia and Tony say the words that will bring them together as husband and wife.  We will miss you more on that day but we know you will be there in spirit. 
Shine on Miss Jess.

"Aight Chief", Something we use to say to each other all the time. It's the little things I remember that make me smile. Thanks!

HAPPY EASTER JESS, MISS YOU MUCH.

I JUST READ A CONDOLENCE FROM A MOM IN TENNEESEE, AND SHE WROTE THAT SHE WAS THINKING ABOUT VACCINATING HER 17 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER WITH GARDASIL.  HER DAUGHTER IS A SENIOR JUST LIKE YOU AND BEAUTIFUL JUST LIKE YOU, GOING TO GRADUATE JUST LIKE YOU.  HER MOM CAME ACROSS YOUR STORY JESS WHILE DOING RESEARCH, BECAUSE OF YOU SHE DECIDED AGAINST IT.  BECAUSE OF YOU SHE WON'T SUFFER FROM THE POISON THEY GAVE TO YOU.  BECAUSE OF YOU HER LIFE MAY HAVE BEEN SAVED.  I KNOW IN MY HEART THAT MANY OTHERS HAVE BEEN SAVED FROM THIS VACCINE BECAUSE OF YOU.  I LOVE YOU JESS.  I MISS YOU SO MUCH EVERYDAY ALL DAY.  SHINE ON.  MOM

When you were young you were the life of the party.  When you were a teenager and a young woman you were the life of the party.  There is no life in the party any more now that you are not here.  I wonder how I keep going without you in my life anymore.  It's so hard to keep up the game of being happy.  It's so hard to imagine that life will get better and time will heal, but I just haven't felt it yet.  I miss you Jess

Today you are 22 years old. I remeber when it felt like i saw you a few weeks ago but now it feels like its been FOOORRREEVVVERR! I feel like I only knew you in my childhood. When we would go exploring and get muddy. I feel like I am getting so old and so much has changed. I live in a new house now, my very own house. I am getting married in 2 months to a guy you have never met, and now I hate getting muddy! Just sucks! Wish you were here more then ever to share all this with. I wonder what you would be like. Where you would be. Would you be graduating with Elaina from Plattsbugh May 19th? Would you still wanna be a state trooper? Would American Eagle still be your favorite clothing store. Would the barbie mobile still be your wheels of transport? I wonder all of this. I wish you were here on earth to share your birthdays, but instead your partying and dancing with God in Heaven. So glad you could have your dad with you for this birthday. I love you Jess forever. I miss you more then I could ever explain. Please help me get through this wedding without you. Please Please Please

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESS, WE MISS YOU EVERY DAY.

Another birthday without you,but not without thinking of you
the girls will be lighting a candle for you,while lighting their cake.
we miss you Jess..the candles will shine as brightly as your memory

I wasn't able to write to you Jess on your anniversary of going to heaven because I was driving to Illinois with your brother.  Your fathers ashes were in my backseat.  It happened again, DEATH.  I got a phone call on the 16th of February at 10:40PM, 6 days before your death, on the other end was your brother, hysterical, his father was dead.  Matt had come home to find his father had passed away in his recliner.  Matt and I have been in Illinois for a Memorial Service with John's family.  Even though John and I have been divorced for the past 6 years his family still treated me like I belonged.  Watch over Matt Jess and give him hints about the right choices to make, keep him safe.  This photo was taken in the same church that the Memorial Service was held.  It was when Leslie (John's sister) and Ed were married and Jessie was the flower girl and Matt was her escort.  Love you Jess.  MOM

I think of you everyday when I say my prayers.  Praying for your mom & family to get through another day.  When I go to church and sit next to your mother, the sun shines in and I know it's you.  It makes me sad, but it brightens the room like you used to do.  We miss & love you very much.

hi jezzmo,whats crackalackin?  today its been 4 years since JESUS took your hand and led you to GOD to get your angels wings. we'll never forget your spirit and drive. we'll never stop trying to figure out why you were taken from us. we'll always cherish every minute we had together.

No day is easier then the last. Tonight and tomorrow will be no easier then a year ago. Nothing has changed. I am so extremey sad and emotional lately. I just feel like everything in my life is happening this year and where are you. Your suppose to be here. I have a new house, an engagement ring, I am planning a wedding. MY WEDDING! You havent even met Tony. I have had so many dreams where you've met, Just not the same. You're all over in my house. Every where I turn is something that reminds me of you. I look in the kitchen and I see a canaster of spageheti. Remember when we were little and we made cars out of noodles. We gluded them together and then stole your moms canaster of spageheti and took our cars up to this cupboard in your bedroom and hid in there as we ate spagheti and played with our cars. I miss you so much. I feel like I am getting older and you dont even know me anymore. I hate it!!! On a good note I am tackeling a whole half gallon of ice cream by myself right now, you would be proud!

Four years ago today you were here with us.  You were looking forward to your senior trip that was coming up soon.  A trip your whole class was about to take to Disney World in Florida.  Away from the snow and ice to sunshine and warmer weather.  You had the week off from school for some reason.  The next day you had planned to go to school and practice pitching as softball season was about to begin and you wanted to get that arm ready and you needed the practice.  In the evening you and your mom were on your new lap top computer playing Sudoku a puzzle you and you mom taught me how to play.  The headache was there so you kissed your mom goodnight, said "I love you" and went off to bed.
I got the phone call that changed all our lives.  The call that said,  "Jessie's DEAD".  I didn't believe it.  How could that be.  Not Jessie!!  How to explain it to Great grandma Fay who was with us at the time. 
How could I get there?  All of the airports were closing because of bad weather.  I couldn't get a flight out.  No trains had room for me.  Stan, Mom and I drove north meeting up with my brother Steve in Virginia where he took mom and I the rest of the way north.
The whole family couldn't believe the outpouring of help and love from the communities of Omar and Lafargeville.  So much food, so many people coming to show support.  School was closed and your service took place in your school.  The place you loved and where you had so many friends.  Your best friends took part in the service along with your teachers.  A slide presentation was put together by your classmates and shown in the school library.  We all laughed and cried watching it.  I still to this day laugh and cry when I watch it.  We went into the school and the day was gray and cloudy but when we came out to take you to your final resting place the sun was out and shining brightly.  Just the kind of day you loved.  People lined the road waving flags  as we passed through Omar.  As we stood at the grave a poem that was written for you by a friend was read.  The end states, "You are on your eternal voyage".  We all miss you Miss Jess.   SHINE ON FOR ALL OF US.    

I came across a 2008 Softball picture that Sherry Wilson gave to Jeff Davidson when we went to Mudville.  You would have been on that team that year Jess.  It was a bittersweet moment....great to see what we accomplished that year...sad that you weren't there in person to share it with us.  God Bless Jess.....still miss you lots and think about you.

I always thought you were the best.
I guess I always will
I always thought that we were blessed,
and I feel that way still
Sometimes we took the hard road
But we ALWAYS saw it through.

If I had only one friend left,
I'd want it to be YOU.

Someone who understands me
and knows me inside out.
Who helps keep me together
and believes without a doubt,
that I could move a mountain,
With someone to tell it to.

If I had only one friend left,
I'd want it to be YOU!!