My last moments with you were spent sitting on the couch in the evening doing a Sudoku puzzle together on your lap top, a little thing.  Those are the things I miss the most about you, watching movies, going shopping, making dinner together, laughing together ( I miss your laugh so much ), talking, brushing and braiding your hair and then trying to sit still while you braided my hair so tight I felt like I had a face lift.  Laughing, laughing, and laughing.  I miss you Jess.  MOM

Another year without you :( Enough Said!

Anohter year is upon us 2012.  Another year not to see your smiling face and hear that giggle. Where would you be this year if you were still her with us.  We all miss you still so very much.  When I look at the picture on your site it reminds me of your home in winter.  That is when you left us.  I remember your Jeep covered with snow in the drive, a Jeep you would never drive again.  I remember how cold it was when I arrived in Omar and all the snow on the ground.  The day of your funeral we were all at school for our day of remembering before we took you to lay to rest for the final time.  When we went in the school it was so bleak like we all felt.  But when we came out the sun was shining, the perfect day to go snowboarding.  Driving thru Omar everyone was there on the curve waiting for us to arrive.  How we all were so blessed to know how much everyone cared.  Shine on Miss Jess and Jon. We will make it through this year by remembering all the happy times we had with you.

miss you jess

THIS IS YOUR 4TH CHRISTMAS  IN HEAVEN, TO BE UP THERE AND TO SEE ALL THE LIGHTS BELOW MUST BE AN EXPERIENCE LIKE NO OTHER. I MISS YOU JESSIE AND IT'S AN EXPERIENCE I COULD DO WITHOUT. EVERYDAY IT'S A STRUGGLE AND EVERYDAY I ASK GOD WHY.  BUT I HAVE NO ANSWER.

Your mom and I at our work Christmas Party. We looked hot, had a blast, and ate a lot! Three important things accomplished. You would be proud! hehe

Hi Miss Jess, It's November 29th, and it has been about a month since I wrote to you and there have been 7,641 Hits since my last writing.  Your mom was here a couple of weeks ago for a visit.  We did some fun things and also just relaxed.  We spent the day in St Augustine with Neva shopping and doing lunch.  Took a tour of the oldest nursery in Florida plus the main house that was full of stories.  We all missed you but we felt your presents everywhere.  You would have been with us if you were here on earth.  When speaking to your mom upon her return home she told me a perfect joy has been added to us.  Your best friend is planning a wedding.  HOW COOL IS THAT!!!  We are so very happy for Emilia.  Your mom even told me "I made the cut".  I wouldn't miss it for the world.  How sad that you will not be there in person to share in the joy.  How very sad it will be that we will never see you walk down the isle and share in the joy of seeing you on your wedding day.  But there will be a day in GLORY when we all will meet again.  What a happy and blessed day that will be.  Another year of Hoildays will be passing soon with Christmas upon us in less that a month.  A time when your are missed the most by all of us.  Another year is coming up that you will have been gone from us on February 22nd.  Still our hearts are heavy that you are gone from our sight but not the sweet memories you have left us to remember.     Blessings and SHINE ON MISS JESS 

happy turkey day you turkey 

Well here we are in November, Almost another year down. That will mark four sad lonely years. Four years of nothing but reflecting on memories. Four years that I have wanted nothing but for you to come back. Four long years that I have missed you soooo much. Four years is just way to long. I forget some things sometimes and I just break down and loose it. I forget your smile, the way your teeth were, the shape the size. I had to remember by looking at a picture. I remember EVERYTHING, but this i forgot. I remember the shape of all your fingers, your thumb and all your long finger nails. I see them in my head. I just cant remember your teeth :( I wish you were here to see my house. God how I would die for you to be here to see it. I am alone tonight. Aaron (tony's brother is here) so they are out playing playstation and having a great time. I am sitting here alone wishing I had a girlfriend here. I have a beautiful ring on my finger I wish you were here to share all the upcoming huge events that go along with it. I got a job with your mom at the hospital, I absolutely love it. I remember one time you and I had to run to the hospital to switch vehicles with your mom. We were dropping of your barbie jeep and picking up your moms black cherekee jeep. Your jeep was making a funny noise so you wanted your mom to drive it home from work so she could see. As we met your mom at the back door of the hospital to get the keys she came down in all her blue scrubs. Hair net and all. You and I laughed so hard as soon as we got in the jeep. We thought her outfit was so funny. I think of that everyday I gown up in the locker room in my scrubs. I know your laughing at me in Heaven. Yes it is very ugly to wear that hidious hair net but most certainly I love my job there Jessie. Your mom is visiting your Gramma Dennie in Florida right now. I remember when you went to Florida with your mom. You brought me back all kinds of goodies. All in which I still have. I love you jessie. I really hope your having a good time in Heaven and that you are alright. I havent heard from you in a very very long time. I really miss you!!!

Today October 30th,  the number is up to 44401.  How blessed we are to have this site so we can look at your pictures and read the words from friends and family that miss you so.  We here in Florida are waiting for your mom to come for a visit.  Just a little over a week and she will be in the sunny south for a visit.  Can't wait to see her.  Even though I was there the first of July it seem ages. 
     On Wednesday I received a call from channel 12 (TV) First Coast News asking me to come in to the station and be on a panel to discuss Gardasil for boys.  I wished they had called a day earlier so I could make plans to be there.  I could not go as I only had a few hours before the taping.  I asked them to call me if this was to be done again.  Jackie Barnard the reporter that came here to interview me a few years ago suggested I be called.  So many people in just the last week have asked me about all the writing on my car. What does it mean?  And the war continues to go on, to remove Gardasil from the market.   We continue so other families will not have to suffer the loss of a loved one as we have.  SHINE ON MISS JESS.

l

 43,496 visits, October 22, 2011. 3 years and 8 months.  I dreamed of you this morning Jess.  You were 3 years old with your beautiful blonde hair with the little curls in it and your smile.  I woke up crying.  Emilia is coming to work in my department tomorrow, so wish her luck. Miss you Jess.  MoM

 

we feel you are here and find comfort in it, thankyou 

Jess, your benefit breakfast went so great yesterday, we had lots of help and even though the weather didn't cooperate we had a great turnout. We exceeded last years total by about 800 dollars.  I'm so amazed at the generosity of our community in the way that they give from the heart. Thank you all so much for your time and your donations for the silent auction, I am so very grateful.  Lisa

 Hi Jess. The Kayakers did it, we broke the record with 1,925 Kayaks and Canoes on Fourth Lake.  The weather could have been better but it was not raining. There was 8 of us for our team.  We all had a very good time and I missed you so much.  Everytime I do something, I always imagine you are there with us.  I wish it was for real.  I know you know but Emilia and Tony are engaged!  I'm so happy for them.  Your breakfast is this weekend, hope we have a good turn out.  Love you.  MOM

I'm just dreaming counting the ways to where you are. Miss you!

 Hi Jess, I was at the cemetery planting some mums for you for the fall weather yesterday and I still can't believe you are gone.  I asked God why I was doing this, why was I planting flowers at my daughters grave?  Some day I hope to know.  The front porch ceiling is almost done and we have been working on getting the wood cut and split for the winter.  Emilia and Tony are very close to moving into their new home, you would be so proud of them, I know I am.  Matt got a motorcycle and it's a nice one, I just hope he is very careful on it.  He is going to be 23 years old on friday the 23rd and I am so proud of the man he has become. Your benefit breakfast will be on October 1st this year which is also Emilia and Elaina's 22nd birthday. Also this coming weekend myself and a bunch of other women are meeting at camp on Friday, then we are going to Inlet for the One Square Mile Of Hope Kayak Guiness book of world records most kayaks on one lake. To benefit Breast Cancer.  I hope it will be good weather.  That is it for now Jess, I miss you so much it hurts. EVERYDAY!!!!  MOM

thanks for the visit jess, i am amazed at how you always seem to come through when life really sucks without you 

August 17,  Jon's birthday.  He has been gone from us for 6 years now but it seems like yesterday I got the call from your mom that he was killed.  I hope you all are having a bang up party in Heaven for him and all the others that have a birthday the  same day.  Happy birthday Jon.  I know how you liked to take pictures of the sunsets as I have many that you took from the ships you were on.  I will include a picture of the sunset in the mountains.  It reminds me so much of your pictures Jon.  I miss you so much both of you.  I know you are both together with others of the family that have gone before.  We hold you all close to our hearts with our memories.

I have not been to Water Safari in four years since you and I went last. You will be happy to know that i finally went back with Tony on Saturday. A huge black bear ran across the road in front of my car. It was my first time ever seeing a bear. You would have been so excited. My jaw dropped, It was so cool. Also you will be happy to know that I went down one of the slides you went down. I think you went down it with either my brother Mitch or one of my sisters cuz i was chicken shit. I remember you telling me how bad you got a wedgey at the bottom. You failed to tell me how extreme that wedgy hurt :( ha I miss you so much Jess. Went on the new ride just for you. Tony wouldnt do any of the dry fair rides that we always did so I had to skip them this time cuz I had no one to go with me :/  I miss you everyday Jess. No day is easier then the last. It feels like forever since you were with me. I HATE it

AUGUST 2, 2011. THIS MORNING MY ALARM AWOKE ME FROM A DREAM OF JESSIE AND RED. JESSIE HAD JUST GOTTEN ON RED FOR A BAREBACK RIDE BUT THE REINS WERE CROSSED IN FRONT OF RED'S CHEST, SO I ASKED YOU TO HAND THEM TO ME SO I COULD FIX THEM.  AFTER UNCROSSING THEM I HANDED THEM BACK TO YOU AND TOUCHED YOUR HAND. THEN THE ALARM WENT OFF.  IT WAS SO REAL. I MISS YOU BOTH.  MOM

1135 Hits in 8 days.  I just talked to your mom and she gave me some pointers on how to put a picture on your site as I have not been able to do it yet.  I will try to put your IRIS on the site.  Lets see if I can do it this time.  Your mom told me another girl that lives just a short distance from your home has had a bad reaction to the Gardasil vaccine and is not able to be left alone.  When will it all end?  Letters have been sent to Doctor's at the Center for Disease Control and Prevention and the response sent back is almost laughable in the side stepping around the truth or giving any answer to questions asked.  We will continue to write and ask for the truth.  Shine on Miss Jess

230 hits in just a few days.  WOW!!!!  I would like some of those people to tell us who they are and leave a message.

I hope I can put a flower in with this message.  I am not very good at doing things like that.  It is an iris and is called Jessie's Song.  I entered it into our iris show and won 2nd place with it.  I will give your mom a rhizome when she comes to visit.  She can put it in your Memorial Garden. 
I had so much fun visiting with your mom and Tim.  I did a lot of reading and a once in a life time activity, A GAME OF GOLF.  Your mom and I did a lot of laughing.  While loading up the big rock you see in her picture,  we almost dropped it because I told her that the tail gate on Tim's new (old) truck we were about to put the rock on, would probably fall off with all the weight.
We spent days getting the stones just right at the front steps.  Camp has had many changes in the years we have been going.  We have lost several loved ones but the memories will always be there of the fun we had at camp.  You and Jon are missed the most because you are everywhere.  Jon's handy work and you and your friends having such a good time.
I was sorry I couldn't be there when the interview for the documentary took place.  I know Lisa and Tim will be a big part of this documentary that will be out for all to see in several months.  We are all hoping that it will be the end to Gardasil and the deaths it is causing.
Shine on Miss Jess

 Hi Jess. July 24,2011 and 30,037 visits.  Yesterday the One More Girl documentary production crew came to the house all the way from Honalulu, Hawaii They have been traveling the country for the last month interviewing families that have been affected by Gardasil in one way or another.  Out of 60 to 70 applicants we were one of the lucky ones to have been chosen.  Ryan and David were so easy going I felt like they were family and Tim and myself felt very comfortable with telling them your story.  I know they will put together a great documentary to help tell the world of the Gardasil  that Kills.  I miss you so and some day the world will know how hard we have all worked to get the word spreadl Love you.  MOM